Show Notes

Personal styling for small business owners isn’t just about clothes; it’s about how you show up on camera, at a speaking event, in the coffee shop meeting. In this episode of The Localist podcast, host Carrie Rollwagen sits down with Malissa Davis, founder of Best You Ever, to talk about why personal style is an extension of your brand and how the right clothes actually build the confidence to open other doors.

Malissa spent nearly 10 years at Nordstrom before launching Best You Ever. She now works with clients in Birmingham and virtually across the United States on closet cleanouts, essential wardrobe building, special-occasion styling, and speaking-event looks. Fun fact: Malissa is also the mom of Taylor Davis, the showrunner for The Localist.

The first half of the conversation gets into the actual process of working with a stylist. Malissa walks through her style assessment quiz, why she caps a shopping day at four hours (people have a capacity, and she respects it), and the closet cleanout that starts every engagement. She is honest about the clothes women keep in their closets to shame themselves into losing weight, and why she wants your closet to say yes to you every morning. She also gets into why she specializes in curves and tall women, and why she is an advocate for tailoring.

The second half is where personal styling for small business really comes together. Malissa talks about how she styles for speaking events and camera. She shares her SOS special-occasion package for people who need a look for a mother-of-the-bride moment, a big birthday, or a photo shoot. She also tells the story of styling a Biggest Loser finalist for the show finale.

Personal Styling for Small Business Topics Covered in This Episode

Why every client relationship starts with story, not clothes
Why fashion goes deep really quickly
Building trust in a dressing room and being an unlicensed therapist
What 10 years at Nordstrom taught Malissa about customer service
Every customer has a capacity and a pace
The style assessment quiz that starts every client relationship
Romantic dresser vs. active lifestyle reality
The closet cleanout: everything that does not fit has to go
Why clothes kept to shame yourself into losing weight have to go
The essential pieces every closet needs
Virtual styling for clients across different climates
The Konmari flip: what brings guilt has to go
Positive peer pressure vs. old-school shame
The four-hour shopping cap and respecting capacity
Why Malissa specializes in curves and tall women
Why tailoring is worth the extra $15 every time
Personal styling for small business speaking events and camera
Signature style, event background, heels or flats
The SOS special-occasion service
Why 30 days of lead time is the sweet spot
Styling a Biggest Loser finalist for the finale
Why receiving compliments matters for personal style growth
Accessories: staple pieces and just trust Malissa
Why stepping outside your comfort zone in style matters everywhere else
Personal styling as a walking manifestation of your brand
Consistency: what social media promises has to match real life

Mentioned in This Episode

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Connect with Malissa Davis

Malissa Davis is the founder of Best You Ever, a Birmingham-based personal styling and image consulting firm. She spent nearly 10 years at Nordstrom before launching her own business, and now works with clients in Birmingham and virtually across the United States on closet cleanouts, essential wardrobe building, special-occasion styling, and speaking-event looks.

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Thanks to Our Sponsor, Infomedia

The Localist is sponsored by Infomedia. They are a Birmingham-based web and digital marketing company. They help small businesses grow online.

Contact Infomedia.

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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Below is the full transcript of this episode of The Localist with Malissa Davis of Best You Ever.

Carrie (00:13): Welcome to The Localist, a podcast for small businesses where we talk about the highs and lows of building community through entrepreneurship. I’m your host, author of The Localist book and small business consultant, Carrie Rollwagen. The Localist is sponsored by Infomedia, our Birmingham-based web strategy company where I work as Senior Vice President. At Infomedia, we help small businesses get big results online.

Carrie: Our guest today is personal stylist Malissa Davis. I am so in love with this conversation. We talk about how Malissa works with clients, how she takes them shopping, or works with their own clothes. We talk about how personal style is an extension of your personal brand, and how the choices we make when it comes to personal style, like pushing the envelope with different earrings you wear or a different color you might try, actually inspires confidence and helps you take other steps in your life.

Carrie: This has been on my mind, especially as we have started recording The Localist, because I went from doing a podcast where I recorded in basically a closet, where I could wear whatever I wanted and look however I wanted, to being on video. I also do a lot of speaking events. Most of my background is in writing. I went from sitting behind a computer by myself, not really needing to think about how I looked, to having to think about those things. That didn’t come naturally to me. Being able to have resources where you can learn about this is really important if you’re doing any kind of business where you’re interacting with the public, or presenting your brand, or doing speaking events.

Carrie: A lot of us think of a stylist as something that’s just for celebrities. But there are stylists who work with normal people like me and you. Malissa is a great one. I’ve seen Malissa’s work over and over because her daughter Taylor is actually the showrunner for The Localist. She also works at Infomedia. Over the past couple years of working with Taylor, almost every single time someone says, Taylor, you look great today, she responds with, my mom styled me. So I’ve been impressed by Malissa’s styling for a long time. Her styling business is called Best You Ever. You can find her on her website, which we’ll put in the show notes, and on her Instagram, @malissa_bye, spelled M-A-L-I-S-S-A underscore B-Y-E. Welcome to the podcast.

Malissa (03:11): Thank you for having me.

Carrie (03:12): I’m excited to meet you because Taylor has been working with us for a few years, and it’s fun to actually meet the person who made her who she is. I looked at a lot of testimonials of people who worked with you. They describe you as their fairy godmother. One quote is, a breath of fresh air. How do you get people to feel like that? Is it the clothes, or is it how you approached the whole thing?

Malissa (03:58): Interestingly enough, I start with their story. Everybody has a story. Everybody started somewhere in their fashion journey. A lot of times, you’ll have people whose parents told them this is the way it is, and they’ve never evolved into their signature style. Then you have some who started very young and were self-conscious, so they covered their bodies. Some people have experienced trauma. The list goes on when it comes to a fashion story. So the first thing I do is I just simply ask, tell me about yourself.

Malissa: Tell me what you think about fashion. Tell me what you love and tell me what you hate. As people share their stories, I can identify, okay, we’ll start here, and then we’ll build on this particular idea.

Carrie (04:55): It seems like one of those things from the outside that seems kind of surface, but then as soon as you start talking about it, it goes super deep really quickly.

Malissa (05:08): Oh yes, for sure.

Carrie (05:13): How do you get people to be okay with that vulnerability with you? Does it take time, or does it just happen immediately?

Malissa (05:24): Everybody is so different. Some people overshare, and some people are like, I don’t even know you, I’m not doing this. I used to work for Nordstrom for close to 10 years, on the sales floor early on. I would go into those dressing rooms. What we would do is I would pull clothes and help women pick and choose different items. In those dressing rooms, it’s almost as though you go behind a closed door, a secret door. They’ll immediately look in the mirror, and it’s a reflection of who they are. The first thing they’ll say is, oh my goodness, look at my arms. And they start to pick themselves apart.

Malissa: As I stand there, I let them say what they’re going to say, and then I put them in clothes that are properly fitted to their body and to who they are right now. They look in the mirror, and it’s almost like an epiphany. Oh, this looks good. This is a good color combination on me. I’m building trust in that moment. Then they share their story. You know what, I’ve never liked my arms, but you put this on me, and now I feel like I can wear my arms out. So it’s this moment of building trust. It takes time. Everyone’s different. Building trust layer upon layer. I almost feel like I’m a therapist. An unlicensed therapist. But it’s tell me your story, let’s talk about it, let’s build. Building trust while we shop and have different conversations about clothing.

Carrie (07:19): What other things did you learn from working at Nordstrom that come into play when you’re styling? It seems like getting to have those reps of putting people into clothes, seeing how they react, over and over, taught you, this person is really insecure, or this person is confident, let’s play up that confidence.

Malissa (07:53): One thing about Nordstrom, just working there, the customer is very important. It sounds crazy for me to say Mr. Nordstrom, but it started with Mr. Nordstrom, the Nordstrom brothers. Customer service is important. Listening to your customer is important. One of the main things I learned is understanding that the customer has a need, or they wouldn’t be there. Identifying what that need is, and helping them through. A perfect example would be problem solving. They have a need or a problem, and I am the problem solver. I’m there to assist them through whatever the problem is. What does that look like for that particular customer?

Malissa: Every customer is different. Every customer has a different need. Every customer has a different pace. Sometimes I could go shopping with someone and we can shop for four hours. We’re having a good time. Others, I can shop for one hour and 42 minutes and they’re done. That was my capacity. So even identifying how long I have with that customer. I learned that in retail. How long do I have? What is their capacity? What is the problem, and how can I solve it?

Malissa: As a stylist, a lot of times people don’t know what to expect. They might look at the stylist and say, oh, I would never dress like that, that’s too much for me. But it’s not necessarily what the stylist has on. It’s the professionalism and the education the stylist has to help that particular person. A lot of times people say, I don’t know if I can look like that stylist. Not understanding it’s not about the stylist. It’s about what that particular person wants and what the problem is.

Carrie (10:17): It actually goes with the name of your business, the best you ever. It’s not the best Malissa ever repeated.

Malissa (10:27): That is the point.

Carrie (10:30): How do you find out what would be Carrie versus what would be Malissa or Taylor or somebody else? Is it a quiz? Do you just ask questions?

Malissa (10:44): I have a style assessment. That’s the first thing we do. In a consultation, I’ll say, okay, I’m about to send you a quiz. Do this assessment, answer these questions. Then I review it, and we’ll have another consultation. In the consultation, a lot of what I’m asking is, what is your expectation, first and foremost? Because I can’t meet the expectation unless I know what it is. What I do is a service. I’m in the service industry.

Malissa: The next thing is the style assessment. It’ll let me know if you’re more of a romantic dresser, more of a classic dresser, if you have a free-flowing style. As well as your lifestyle. A lot of times people are like, oh, I love the romantic look. But your life is very active, and we can’t have you in lace all the time. What does that look like for the lifestyle you’re currently in?

Carrie (11:46): That’s why you have all these beautiful dresses and you end up in leggings every day.

Malissa (11:51): For sure.

Carrie (11:53): Do you find that people self-diagnose well, or do you also see that they’re saying, I like these colors and these fits, but then you get them shopping and they light up when they’re in something different?

Malissa (12:08): Absolutely. It happens all the time. Someone thinks this is what they like. I take them to the store and put it on them. They’ll look and say, oh, it looks so much better on the mannequin. We talk about, does it fit your body well? Does it look good? Is it comfortable? A lot of times, women will say, I just want to be comfortable, and they’ll choose lace. I’m like, my dear, that’s probably not the most comfortable. You can get some expensive lace, but the likelihood of you always being able to do this is probably not likely.

Carrie (12:50): What does it actually look like when you work with a client? Do you go shopping with them? Do you go to their closet? Is it online?

Malissa (13:06): Every client is different. If someone wanted me to go into their closet, do a closet assessment, the first thing I do is start with a closet cleanout. A lot of times people say, I don’t have anything to wear. There’s nothing in the closet. Okay, sure. There’s homework before I even show up. Before I get into your closet, I want you to take out everything that doesn’t fit you. How many of us have clothes in our closet that don’t fit, whether too big or too small? A lot of times, women have clothes in their closet they can’t fit because they want to lose weight to get down to a particular size. If they take it out of their closet, in their mind, they’re thinking, I’m never going to get to this size, so I want to keep these clothes to remind me that this is the size I want to be.

Malissa (14:08): That’s a whole other conversation. When you go into your closet, you want your closet to say yes to you over and over again. Everything in that closet is a yes. Everything is going to say, put me on, I’m going to work for you. You do not want to go into your closet and have to shove clothes that are telling you no, you’re not good enough, you’re not small enough to wear me. You have to pick and choose before you even started your day. Before you even went to work, fed the kid, checked email, the closet is telling you no. So all this rejection first thing in the morning, and then you try to figure out what you’re going to put on to be productive. It’s not good for a woman to fight her closet that way.

Malissa: So the first step: take everything out that doesn’t fit. Also take everything out that you don’t love. If you’ve had it in your closet two to three years and never worn it, I go two to three years because I don’t want to put anybody in shock, but personally I wish I could say a year. If you’ve had it two to three years and you haven’t worn it, every time you pick it up you try to put it on and never leave the house with it, it’s not for you. But people are attached to, I paid money for this, I paid good money for this, I had an idea about this. If you haven’t worn it, put it away, resell it, or give it to someone who would love it. Then you can go into your closet and say, these clothes I can fit. These clothes work for me. We start from that foundational point.

Malissa (16:20): After the closet cleanout, we start with essential pieces. What are the essentials that you need in your closet? Every essential is different. For someone who’s super active, it’s going to be important that you get those yoga pants. For someone else who likes to be more classic, do you have those professional slacks? Do you have that little black dress? What are the essentials you need? Then we can build on top of them.

Malissa (17:02): I do it virtually too. I have clients all over the United States. I’m working with someone right now in Indianapolis. I have Arizona. The climates are different. So temperature, where are we going?

Carrie (17:15): I did Stitch Fix in the past, and they’re always sending me little sweaters, and I’m like, I live in Alabama. Even like you’re describing, I did the Konmari find joy in your stuff thing. When I got to clothes, I couldn’t tell what was bringing me joy. So I flipped it. I said, what’s bringing me guilt? And I got rid of that.

Malissa (17:34): That’s good.

Carrie (17:34): There were so many things. Oh, this reminds me of a bad experience I had wearing it. Every time I put this on, I feel bad about myself. The thing about losing weight, it’s like, well, if that happens, I’m going to want to buy new clothes. You’re not going to wear your clothes that are five years old.

Malissa (18:03): I don’t think women realize that.

Carrie (18:06): For me, guilt is really not a driving factor in anything I want to do. It’s an older mentality that shame yourself into getting better, and I’m not sure that works.

Malissa (18:24): Maybe in the old days, but not now. There’s a lot of affirmation. Positive peer pressure. There are environments you can grow in where you don’t have to feel shame. Years ago, you wanted that trainer who was going to scream at you. Now I’m like, can I just get a high five? Life is hard.

Carrie (18:52): Tell me about the shopping trip. Once you do the shopping trip, is it a whole day? Are you getting treats along the way?

Malissa (19:08): It’s everybody’s capacity. When someone says, hey, I want an overhaul, let’s do this, my overhauls are no more than four hours. People cannot take me or the process more than four hours. Sometimes I almost feel like I need to bring snacks. Here, your sugar’s low. Piece of candy. The reason is, it’s not me just going into the store like, oh, I’m going to pick this, this, this, and it’s moving fast.

Malissa: A lot of times I can curate the clothes for them. I’ll take them into a room and say, these clothes have been handpicked for you. Come into this space, let’s try these on, let’s see what works, let’s see what doesn’t. Then we’ll have conversations. I’ve done this with my daughter. There was this vest. It reminded me of a tennis kind of vest. She loved it. Mom, I have to have this. Okay. We went into the fitting room and put it on. What do you think? We talked about what worked, but also what didn’t work. That’s what I do with clients. This worked really well, look how good your arms are. My daughter has great arms. I’ll take a client and just say, your arms are great. I’ll affirm them. Then they can acknowledge, oh yeah, look at that bicep. But we lost your waist. Where did the structure go? Do you see how it’s swallowing you up? They’ll say, you’re right. I see that. So this particular style doesn’t work.

Malissa: It’s never about I’m going to always buy you clothes for the rest of your life. It’s about I want to show you how to dress your body, so you can always come to me if you want to, but I want to educate you so when we’re not together, you’ll still have an opportunity to win. That’s where we start with teaching, education. Then we’ll go into another store, another space. In the process I’m keeping a catalog. These are the things we bought. These are the things you still need. I strategically make sure that the essentials we’re focusing on. We have to have the foundation before we can build the glorious closet.

Malissa: After having those conversations, it can be emotional. There may be moments when someone is just like, this is a lot, this is so much for me. I’ve never looked at myself for a long period of time. There will be moments when we may need to stop and restart on another day. Or I’ll say, you know what, this was good. Let me go online and do some of the shopping for you. I’ll send it to your home. You try these things on. Send me pictures. We do video calls, and we work through it that way too. It really depends on the capacity of the person. But the short version, no more than four hours.

Carrie (22:33): That’s like a four-hour therapy session.

Carrie (22:40): When you’re in those, do you have places that are your go-tos, in person or online, where you’re like, I know what’s there, I know it’s quality?

Malissa (22:53): I have my places. I feel like I’m plugging Nordstrom, but one of the things I do is shop on my Instagram. I talk about, I dress curves. A lot of times, it’s not the thinner woman or the size two, size four. They definitely need help. But it’s the woman who is a pear shape, and she just can’t go into a store and put a dress on because she’s much smaller up top and has a much larger bottom. She’s frustrated every time she goes into the store. I like to focus on the curves of a woman. How do I create the shape this woman wants? Also tall women. Tall women, it’s like we’re all in capris all the time. Nothing goes down to the floor. Strategically knowing the different places to shop for a tall woman, a woman with curves, a unique shape, ultimately trying to get a certain silhouette. I have my go-to source for that.

Carrie (24:05): There are so many elements to styling, but fit is a huge one. We’re really not taught to do that. Most clothes are mass produced. So many clothes fit like a sack because a sack fits everybody. Also looks good on almost no one. Most of us don’t know how to say, this is tailored to fit me. Do you do tailoring afterward? Do you recommend, we can get this tailored? Or is it mostly off the rack?

Malissa (24:48): It really depends, but I am an advocate for tailoring. The reason is, if you get good quality, let’s say you have a small waist but your hips are larger. You’re never going to find, unless you’re wearing elastic pants or leggings, that perfect slack where it’s going to fit your waist. But if you get it tailored properly, then every time you put them on, you’ll look at your body and be like, I won. You hadn’t even put the top on yet. You’re in your house and haven’t left yet. Oh, wait, I like that. Those moments matter. So the extra $15 to have the waist taken in, it matters. Just pay the extra 15 and have it tailored.

Malissa (25:57): I guess I’m plugging Nordstrom again. They have it where you can purchase your clothes and go right into the dressing room. There’s a tailor that will come to the dressing room and do all the measurements. If you don’t go to Nordstrom and go somewhere else, find a good tailor. That would be something I always tell people. There are tailors at all price points. So don’t be alarmed you wouldn’t be able to find someone you can’t afford. Get a tailor. Have a tailor always.

Carrie (26:20): I don’t use it nearly as much, but I do use tailors. When I do, it’s like, oh, this is the difference. Which you have to feel good. Which is funny too, because you think you’re saving money, but then you just go and buy five other things because the thing didn’t fit. You could have just gotten this first thing to fit, and it would have been better.

Malissa (26:43): You get it.

Carrie (26:46): One thing I have issues with a lot, and I know you work with women who have this: speaking and being on camera, styling for those kinds of things. You do a great job of that. Because I’ve seen photos of people you have styled, and also for anybody who meets your daughter Taylor, she’s a walking billboard for you. Every time Taylor’s on camera, we’re like, you look amazing, and she’s like, my mom styled me. For speaking events and camera, how do you think through that differently?

Malissa (28:01): I absolutely think through that, but also your signature style. If you and I were working together, after we’ve done an assessment, I would ask, what’s your favorite color? What’s your branding color? What colors do you want to be seen in on social media? Then the next question, have you seen the colors of the event you’re speaking at? What’s the background? Is it going to be more casual? Is it a lot of green? What’s that background going to look like? From there, I’ll say, okay, how long are you going to be on your feet? Are you comfortable in some cool gym shoes and I put you in a fun suit? Or do you want to be in high heels?

Malissa: Some of my speakers love to be in high heels because their back arches. Just now, I sat this way. I’m like, was I hunched over the whole time? Their back arches, and there’s a level of confidence they have when they’re in high heels. Then I have people who’ll say, hey, I’m going to be up on stage, the audience is going to be kind of close, they’ll be looking up at me. Put me in pants. I don’t want to be in a dress. We find those things out first, and then we go build the looks.

Carrie (29:35): That’s so important. Personally, a couple years ago I had, and still lingers, an issue with my foot. I can only wear Nikes, which, if you’re stuck in one kind of tennis shoe, at least it’s Nike. They have a lot of variety. But it was crazy how dramatically it changed everything else I had to wear. Not everything looks good with a pair of Nikes. On some body types, it does, but not mine. Not my level of, I’m in a speaking event, I really need to look purposeful, like I’m wearing Nikes on purpose, intentionally, and not because I’m being lazy. So it was kind of wild how everything in my closet had to change because for basically a year and a half, I could only wear sneakers.

Malissa (30:27): That’s real life. I have some women who refuse to wear high heels. They’re like, I’m not wearing a heel, I’m clumsy, I need you to put me in flats. And I’ll say, always? And they’re like, always. Non-negotiable. So since they say that, I know I have to be mindful of the length of their pants, the width of their pants, because some of them are maybe five two. So I can’t put you in a wide leg pant. You have no elevation on your feet, and now you look frumpy. All those specifics matter when styling.

Carrie (31:05): If somebody does have a special event, because I’ve seen you style people for parties and things too. A big anniversary, a big birthday party. Do you only work with people you’ve had as clients before, or can people call you and say, I have this big event coming up in a couple months?

Malissa (31:33): You don’t have to be a previous client. If someone called me, I call it, it’s so funny, my SOS package. Special occasion service.

Carrie (31:45): You’re the best with acronyms. Like the name of your business, so that you can have your Instagram is like Malissa BYE. So cute. Working on both levels.

Malissa (32:00): That’s exactly what it is. So special occasions, absolutely. A lot of times I’ll even get clients who say, well, I just need you for this. I’ll say, okay, I’ll do it. And they’re like, well, I can’t go back. And I’m like, well, come on, go with me.

Carrie (32:14): How does the SOS service work? How much lead time do you need? Is it a month or two?

Malissa (32:28): Personally, I would like 30 days. That is not how it works at times. Sometimes I have someone call me, hey, I have 13 days. I’m like, 13 days of what? I would love at least 30 days from the event, maybe a little longer. An example of that is mother of the bride. Please give me more than 30 days to find you something. We have to have the conversation. If I haven’t worked with this person, I need their measurements. I need to know what they like, what they don’t like, the color combinations. If we’re in the city together, we can go shopping together. If they’re in another state, I’m shopping online, sending things to their home. Now we’re trying on clothes. There may be some things that work versus things that don’t. It takes time to receive the articles of clothing and to return them. A good 30 days, I can make it work.

Malissa (33:38): I actually have someone who had a huge event and gave me 10 days. I looked at her and said, are you serious? Okay, I can do it. I walk with the Lord, watch this. We did it. She’s like, everybody loves it. I’m thinking, you stressed me all the way out, but it was so good. Sometimes in the last moments you’re like, I kind of like this pressure. So I can get it done.

Carrie (34:11): Can you think of some stories of times you styled somebody and had a really cool impact? They got really excited, their way of seeing themselves changed?

Malissa (34:34): This story ended in tears. I was working in Nordstrom. This woman walked in and said, I have a big event, I need to look amazing. I lost a lot of weight. I got clothes for her, pulled clothes. We went into the dressing room. In the process of trying on clothes, she was bandaged. Her arms were bandaged up. You didn’t know this until she took her clothes off in the fitting room. She said, yeah, I’m on The Biggest Loser.

Malissa (35:32): Excuse me, ma’am. What are you saying to me right now? The Biggest Loser, like on TV? She’s like, yes, I’m one of the winners. And I’m like, oh my gosh, okay. Inside, I’m freaking out. She’s like, I can’t say much more, but I want you to dress me. When the credits run, it’ll be like, we got the clothes from Nordstrom. I’m thinking, can you throw Malissa in there? So now I’m energized. We started trying on clothes. We got her the perfect fit. We got her the dress that was going to be amazing. She looked in the mirror and started immediately crying. I’m thinking, did I do something wrong? She’s like, I’ve never looked at myself like this. I’ve never felt so beautiful. I don’t even know who this woman is.

Malissa (36:21): She cried, and I just let her stay in this moment and receive it. Afterwards, she’s like, do you think I’m crazy? I said, no, I think you’re beautiful. I still have chills to this day thinking about it. She purchased the clothes, did the finale, went out to her family and had this moment. But it was her acknowledging how beautiful she looked, how different she was, and accepting it.

Malissa (37:00): That’s one of the main issues, one of the challenges I have with women. I can tell you that you’re beautiful. I can say, oh my goodness, you look great. But if you reject it and don’t receive it, eventually you’re going to have to receive it. You’re going to have to allow the compliment to hit and stay and not deflect. If you don’t, you’ll never really grow in your style and in your potential. If you’re always saying no, I’m never going to look that good, you’ll always be stuck in this moment of not really truly knowing what your signature style is.

Carrie (37:40): Which is hard because a lot of women are socialized to deflect.

Malissa: Trust me, I know.

Carrie (37:59): I think that’s such a service. Even some of the ways you’ve talked about this. When you’re saying your arms look great, but your waist is getting lost, it’s almost like the compliment is focused on the person, and the negative is focused on the clothes. Which is so much like, I feel like we also internalize so much. You’re like, well, I don’t look good in this, so I don’t look good. But I think you’re training people to think, I don’t look good in this, so this isn’t right for me. That’s a totally different thing.

Malissa (38:28): Exactly. I’ve even had people tell me, well, this dress just doesn’t fit good. Then I’ll say, something’s wrong with the dress. And they’re like, oh, yeah.

Carrie (38:46): It’s so freeing to be like, yeah, this dress is wrong.

Malissa (38:47): The dress is wrong. You’re not wrong.

Carrie (38:52): A little bit of a pivot, but can we talk about accessories? Because I notice that on you today, but I also notice a lot of times when you style Taylor, that you’re pairing things with interesting accessories. It’s not weird. It’s just adding something that’s really making the outfit. This is another thing I’m really bad at. I have the same watch and the same earrings I wear every day.

Malissa (39:27): Those are staple pieces.

Carrie (39:30): When you’re shopping with people, is that also part of what you do?

Malissa (39:40): I approach it the same way by starting the conversation of, are you allergic to any metals? Some women absolutely hate heavy earrings because it pulls on their ear. So I’ll say, would you be willing to wear something lighter? I also ask women, can you send me, let me see what your accessories look like? It’s a starting point of, okay, so you’re really safe with your accessories. Or some people have a variety. A lot of times women are like, I have these diamond earrings and I wear these every day, that’s all I do. I don’t know how to do anything else.

Malissa: So we start there, and I introduce pieces. I love accessories. I love texture. I love mixing and matching textures. I introduce different things and wait for the response. A lot of my clients crack jokes because the running joke is just trust Malissa.

Carrie (40:55): Yeah, right. So that you’ll see that a lot on a lot of my stuff.

Malissa (41:00): I thought maybe I should do a reel of them all just saying it, because they all say it at different times and they laugh. But it’s just trust Malissa, because I am going to introduce something that’s going to challenge you. I am going to introduce something you never thought you could wear. You’re going to put it on, and it never fails, you’re going to say, oh my goodness, I think I love this. Then I can build off of that.

Malissa: Put them in the full look, throw the accessory on, and we go from there. Usually that’s how I get people to participate. Variety. You can wear all black. Let’s say you have on a black shirt, black slacks, black shoes. It’s like a canvas for accessories. Oh my goodness, you gave me an opportunity to make this so cool. Like the silk scarf. Tie it in a bow. Have fun with it. Know that every time you put on this whole black look, you can change it out with different accessories and make it look grand. All the way down to the blazer, the coat, the hat.

Carrie (42:32): I love that because you’re pushing people to step outside their comfort zone in general. A lot of times we get to a point, as business owners, as women, where it’s like, well, this has worked and this is safe, so I’m just going to do this. Sometimes that’s in clothes, but sometimes it’s in life too. If I could try this earring, I could try something else.

Malissa (43:04): Absolutely. It’s building confidence. I don’t think women realize that you are building confidence. People underestimate a good look. They think vanity, they think superficial. But when you feel good, regardless of if you have on a bright color or muted colors, if you feel good in what you have on, you’re going to walk into a room and be more confident because you’re not concerned about the look. From there, you build confidence. You act different. You open doors, or you go into doors you probably never thought you’d go into. Then you make change happen in your life. So it’s so much more than just the outfit.

Carrie (43:56): Also, if you are trying to develop a business or a personal brand, this is a walking manifestation of the brand. It’s hard to remember you’re presenting as this person you’re trying to be. The times you’re networking, half of the networking doesn’t happen at networking events. It happens when I go grab coffee and I run into somebody I kind of know, and I can strengthen that connection. But thinking through, what am I wearing? Is everything working together? That’s so helpful.

Carrie (44:47): I tell people in our industry, which is kind of creative, people will ask, what is professional? Because it’s not a law firm. We dress differently. What I tell people is, being purposeful in our industry is being present. If you’re wearing a T-shirt and making it work, I’m fine with that. If you’re wearing a T-shirt and it looks like you just pulled it out of the laundry basket, that’s a problem. Working with somebody like you can tell people, how do I make that work for me? How do I develop this brand?

Malissa (45:26): Consistency matters. That’s one of the main things. People think, okay, I’m going to get dressed this one particular time. We’re going to get some pictures. We’re going to get some social media content, and then that’s it. The next day, you go back to regular habits. Not realizing you could see someone when you’re out getting coffee, and the first thing they see when they look at you, it’s a disruption of what they saw on social media. It’s a disruption of when they saw you speak at an event. Now they’re questioning your product, questioning, is this person who they say they really are? Do I want to connect with this person?

Malissa (46:14): It matters. You don’t have to look as good as you did on social media because I was really intentional. But don’t go so far in the wrong direction that now we’re questioning who you are and what your brand is.

Carrie (46:22): We actually talk about this. Taylor did a video for us on this with AI. Don’t use so much AI on your photos that people are disappointed when they see you in person. You actually want to be recognized.

Malissa (46:38): Oh, for sure. Now you’re thinking, I don’t know if I can trust.

Carrie (46:46): So much of what you do is teaching people that we’re all giving off little signals all the time. You’re kind of saying, the narrative is there. Here’s how to take control of that narrative.

Malissa: Absolutely.

Carrie (47:03): I feel like I could talk about this forever. Tell people how to work with you. If they’re listening and they’re like, I need to trust Malissa, I already trust Malissa after this, how do they do that?

Malissa (47:21): The main thing is just simply reaching out to me. Of course I have my website, which is bestyouever.style, not .com.

Carrie (47:30): That’s good. We’ll put that in the show notes too. If you’re driving or doing dishes, be safe, and the link is there.

Malissa (47:38): Instagram. It’s Malissa, and I spell my name a little differently. M-A-L-I-S-S-A underscore B-Y-E. B-Y-E is not like a sassy term. Someone asked me, sassy? I’m like, no, it’s Best You Ever. It says bye, but even in that, it’s like, bye to old ways, bye to the way I used to dress. So we can spin that a different way. But it’s Malissa underscore BYE.

Carrie (48:04): Thank you so much.

Malissa (48:08): It’s been a pleasure. I could talk about this all day.

Carrie (48:12): You need your own podcast.

Malissa (48:14): No, ma’am. I’m going to leave that to you. You’re the star. Maybe Taylor.

Carrie (48:19): Taylor can do her own podcast and you can style her. Thank you so much.

Carrie (48:27): If you’re in Birmingham and want to experience a live version of The Localist, we would love to see you at Localist Lab. This is our live event, third Thursday of every month at Saturn in Avondale. We bring in experts to deep dive into a topic that is important for local businesses. Tickets are free, the link is in the show notes. We would love to see you there.

Carrie: The Localist is written and produced by me, Carrie Rollwagen. Our showrunner is Taylor Davis, the daughter of Malissa Davis. Our outreach manager is Hannah Craigen. Our engineer in the studio with me today is Paul Bryant. We record right here at Infomedia Studios. If you are interested in doing your own podcast, hit us up. We would love to help you. Thanks again to Infomedia for sponsoring the podcast and making everything we do here possible. Until next time, whether you’re running a small business or buying from one, thanks for all you do to make our community stronger every day.